Psst...

We've got BIG news!!:)

:(

Our excitement of the Clomid was short lived:( Aunt flow showed her ugly face Friday:( So now on to another round of Clomid, blood draws and Dr appts. Another cycle has started and this has been a huge eye opener for me this time:( It almost killed me to see AF Friday. I had a cry..a long, hard, loud cry. It hurt and it pissed me off. *sigh* but I am holding my head up high and trying to remain positive because of the Clomid working properly for me. So now it's just a waiting game.

Better news:)

We did our first round of Clomid last month and we had our appointment yesterday with the OB and we got good news. I ovulated!!:) My progesterone was only at 1.1 when we first went in and yesterday it was up to 9.9! The low # they shoot for is 10, so 9.9 is pretty damn good! I am full of smiles today:) I am hoping AF doesn't show her ugly face this month and we are actually PG!! If not, at least we know the Clomid works and so the Dr did provide me with another prescription of Clomid for May if we're not pregnant. Will keep you posted!

-Melissa & Santino

The blues...

When we started our journey of trying to get pregnant I thought it would be easy and seamless. I figured the first or second time without protection would be it for us. You see it happen all of the time out there, young careless people getting pregnant without even trying. And here you are charting every single little change within your body with hopes of two pink lines. It makes it almost impossible to be happy for those around you who are expecting, simply because you want it so damn bad you don’t know what to do with yourself. Then after awhile of trying to decided to go visit the OB/GYN to make sure your lady parts are working properly...and you find out they aren’tL Despite that stupid little smiley face on that pee stick. How could that smiley face had made you so damn happy months before, and now you’re being told “Your progesterone is at 1.1”… because you have NO idea what the range of progesterone is supposed to be so you sit there looking pretty and hope he tells you everything is OK. It isn’t. You’re not ovulating. And it sucks. So, you’re prescribed Clomid to help make you ovulate…with a possibility of TWINS. At this point you’re good with twins…in fact you’re thinking…give me anything…I’ll take anything at this point!!!*sigh* The day you get your period before starting the Clomid for the first time is probably the happiest day you’ve had in a long time. You know that this 5-day round of this pill may be it for you. This could be all you’ve been waiting for here in these little round pills. Even the fact of going on vacation in a few days doesn’t phase me. I’ve got too darn much going on with my body and in my head I am not even focused on this trip. “Be patient, your time will come” turns into curse words in your book and you want to slap the next person who says it…especially those who “accidently” became pregnant and already have children. I’m not bitter. I’m not unhappy. I’m heart broken. I’m empty. I’m pissed. I know what I want and I have worked very hard trying to do all of the “right things” with my life and I am waiting for the next step…impatiently.  I know I probably have no room to talk…we’ve been trying for such a short amount of time compared to some of those couples out there. But we’re all in the same boat. We all yearn for fulfillment. Is that too much to ask for?

The big NO..:(

Yesterday was the appointment to give me the results of the lab work from last week. It wasn’t perfect news…apparently I do not ovulate. I am bummed, but I do feel better to know that I can get on some meds and we can hopefully still get pregnantJ I will be taking Clomid on days 5-9 of my cycle and will have to go back to the Dr on day 21 and get my blood drawn and have results the following week. The idea is that I will ovulate and my progesterone levels will be up past the whopping 1.1 I was at this cycle. Clomid does have one teeny weensy little side effect….TWINS!!! Of course, it makes me nervous to think about twins…but to have the chance to have a baby I’ll take the twinsJ

                We will be leaving on Tuesday for vacation and so I hope our time away relaxing with no worries in the world will bring us baby news :)

Baby dust my way:)

Dr appt...

We went to the doctor yesterday(after I was embarrassed because apparently my appt was actually TODAY instead of yesterday-but luckily they were able to squeeze me in). I met with the Dr. and we spoke about what's been going on and he laid it all out there for me..so here it is...*click on image to make larger and easier to read*

So as you can see there are a few steps we need to follow and we hope everything comes out normal and great for us! We hope I am ovulating and Santino's sperm is OK so we can move on to the next step:) We're still trying and we're still very hopeful for baby A to be a part of us soon:) I will keep you posted on the doctor appointments.

-Melissa

That darn AF...

For those of you not in the "trying to conceive" world or not female...AF=aunt flow...you know menstrual cycle. *sighs* I hate seeing her ugly face every 28 days or so. I remember when we were dating and we hoped and prayed for AF to show up to ensure we weren't pregnant and now I would die for AF to miss me for..oh...say 9 months or so??:) Among the AF acronym there are a few other commonly used that you will probably see posted here. I am, by no means, a professional at this whole trying to conceive thing, but I have become lazy and enjoy typing ttc instead of trying to conceive:)
So back to the story at hand here...AF is back and she is stiff as awful as ever:( She was supposed to show her face on Saturday, so I was thrilled Sat night when there was nothing...so much so I wasted a test just to be disappointed again:( I truly do feel that the fate of our unborn child is in God's hands, but I am already so tired of waiting! I know there are people who wait for years and still never get a child of their own and I often feel so selfish for wanting my BPF(big fat positive-regarding a positive pregnancy test) so badly and to happen so quickly. It will happen when it's supposed to, but those words are never comforting when you're TTC...all you want is baby and you don't want to hear anything different.
I did make an appointment for 14Mar with hopes to get some questions answered and hopefully get some help with speeding things along a little more quickly. I would just kick myself if I wait until we've been trying for 1 year and they tell me that I have some sort of an issue and have to start a lengthy process. I am hoping they can fill me in on something and let me know why I am ovulating late in my cycle and to let me know if there is a problem with the late O day and what we can do to lengthen the days between od*ovulation day* and period day. Currently, I O on days 17-18 and my cycle usually lasts 28 days. That only leaves me with 10-11 days in my luteal phase*the time for little guys to get to where they need to go to make baby*.*sigh* there is so much going on and I feel like my head is going to explode sometimes. I do have faith that everything will work out...I just need to be patient.
So to keep me busy this week will probably be a slow week because I an anticipating the wedding of my best friend this weekend!!! I am the Maid Of Honor and I can not wait to take part of all of the wedding stuff!!!:) I have managed to catch a little cold this week already and hopefully a health dose of Vitamin C will kick that little booger right where it counts:)
I am off to get some rest and make dinner for the hubby:) Philly Cheese Steak Sandwiches!!

-Melissa